Another hard morning. Elizabeth is dusting,  vacuuming and moving furniture to sweep underneath. I have gotten up twice and gone back to bed twice.

This adrenal fatigue ( not medically official)  stuff is insidious. It can leave you breathless. Sitting up makes you dizzy. Getting out of bed feels like attempting  a reversal , in wrestling, against an opponent three weight classes above yours. I’ve had times, working at the computer, when my head droops, my chin hits my chest, and I go to sleep. At school, lunchtime and passing periods are the worst, because you have to fight off the urge to lie down, or, worse, the urge to feel sorry for yourself, and you have to summon the energy for the next class of kids.

At the end of the day and on weekends, there’s no energy left to summon. This is not remotely like depression–been there, done that. This is like living in a body, heavy, stiff,  leaden,  that refuses to do what you want it to do. It’s infuriating , or would be, if you had the strength to be angry. Now, I want to sleep and I want to resist sleeping, and there’s no victor in a fight like that.