Okay, the big pumpkin eating the little pumpkin is brilliant.

I might try to make a pumpkin pie from scratch this year for Thanksgiving, by the way. I’ve already done it once.

I was in college and visiting my second cousin Frances Sally, a powerful figure in Missouri politics. She was the head of the Missouri State Cosmetologists’ Association.

My college friend Wayne from Oklahoma happened to be in the area and his car broke down, so he stayed with us for a few days. He was dead broke, estranged from his Dad, and needed the comfort of a Cousin Frances Sally bed.

She was a sweet lady, but she cut my hair once. Many years later, I realized that the same style had been adopted by Princess Diana. I don’t think Frances Sally had much experience with cutting men’s hair.

This was in Licking, Missouri. There hasn’t been a lot to do in Licking, Missouri, since they closed down the Rawlings baseball factory. Licking used to make all the baseballs for the MLB.

By the way, I had a grand Thanksgiving there once. We were watching Notre Dame slaughter USC and the gang was making fun of me, the California boy. Then, some of you may recall, Anthony Davis scored six touchdowns and SC won going away, 45-23.

Many years later, my Dad called me to the phone. “Somebody wants to talk to you,” he said.

It was Anthony Davis. I pretty much melted into the floor.

Anyway, back to Wayne and me. Since there’s not a lot to do in Licking, Missouri, we bought some pumpkins. And we made a pumpkin pie.

Ladies and gentlemen, there has not been a process this labor-intensive since the construction of The Great Pyramid of Giza. It took us ALL DAY. Scraping and rendering and mixing and beating and spicing and crusting and then, finally, actually baking the damn thing.

Wayne from Oklahoma and I gained a whole new appreciation for what frontier wives had to go through when they baked. And we had an electric oven.

The pie was incredible. Other than getting the Sor Juana de la Cruz Award for being the top student in my Mexican History class, that was the crowning achievement of my time at the University of Missouri.

So I think it’s time to recapture the glory. I sure wish Wayne from Oklahoma was nearby to help. He was a good guy.