How to write a book, in easy-to-understand steps

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  1.  Decide to write a book.
  2. Wake up at 2 a.m. and realize that you may have made a mistake.
  3. Change your mind. Collect every short piece you’ve written in the last six years and divide them into themes.
  4. Collect them altogether into a Word document. It’s immense.
  5. Wake up at 2 a.m. and realize that some of your short pieces are doo-doo.
  6. Excise bad pieces, much like the guy who got his arm caught between boulders and sawed it off with a penknife.
  7. Word document slightly less immense. Hmmm. Something’s missing…
  8. So, what the heck? Add photographs. Make it immenser.
  9. Wake up at 2 a.m. and realize that you have to add headers, footers, page numbers, a table of contents and squish it altogether into a 6″ x 9″ format with 1″ gutters.
  10. Three weeks later, book is assembled.
  11. Rewrite begins. Rewrite, rewrite, rewrite. You wonder, in re-writing if you were actually literate to begin with. I said THAT?
  12. Three weeks later, you turn it over to a copy editor.
  13. Two weeks later, when she gives it back, you realize you are only semi-literate. Maybe the book should be in Esperanto.
  14. Rewrite, rewrite, rewrite. Throw stories out. Throw words out. Throw, throw, throw.
  15. Submit manuscript to automated online editor. Are you sure you’ve got the copyright? Throw photographs out.
  16. Rejected. Margins.
  17. Submit again
  18. Rejected. Page numbers.
  19. Repeat Step 15 fifty-six times.
  20. Yay! MS accepted! You get a proof copy of your book!
  21. You chose 12-point type, as recommended. It looks monstrous, like “On Cherry Street,” which was your first-grade reader in 1958.
  22. Re-do the entire manuscript in 10-point type. Re-do headers, footers, page numbers, table of contents.
  23. One week later, re-submit.
  24. Yay! You get a proof copy of your book!
  25. The header on page 156 is missing and so is the caption on page 203.
  26. Re-submit.
  27. Yay! You get a proof copy of your book!
  28. Wake up at 2 a.m. This was a really stupid idea.
  29. Re-read some of the content. Well, doggone it, that’s pretty good after all.
  30. Throw more stories out Throw more words out. Eliminate any references to Donald John Trump. Add a song you wrote about Mike the Wonder Chicken.
  31. Submit. It’s accepted!
  32. Yay! Get proof copy #3. It looks good.
  33. Caption on page 34 of proof copy is off center. At this point, you no longer care.
  34. Read many articles about “How to Market Your Book.” Realize that  “marketing a book” is only slightly harder than learning how to run a nuclear submarine by yourself.
  35. Wake up at 2 a.m. and realize that you may have made a mistake. Repeat this step for two weeks.

YOU MAY (OR MAY NOT) BE A PUBLISHED AUTHOR!

My Feelings Are Hurt and That’s Okay

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Earlier this week, a fellow historian advised me, in the most well-meaning way, that my writing had been infected by the stream-of consciousness technique. Luckily, he suggested a couple of copy editors as an urgent and necessary corrective.

Ouch.

That hurt my feelings for three reasons. One of then is Revision: there was an implication of sloppiness on my part in the advice on his part, yet most of the writing I do— although I write quickly, because that’s what journalism training teaches you—goes through countless revisions. I will be the first to admit that almost everything I’ve ever written has gotten better with either fewer words or demanding editors, even the slightly daft ones.

A second reason for my emotional flesh wound is that my critic lives in San Luis Obispo, which means that he looks down on us bumpkins in Arroyo Grande or Morro Bay or Paso Robles from insurmountable intellectual heights.

The third reason that I got this counsel is that I don’t think like an academic historian. Although my books are researched in depth, with footnotes in platoons,  my writing doesn’t progress in a methodical manner: I’m not a tugboat nudging a great passenger liner into its berth along the East River in New  York.

Oops. I did it again.

I don’t think in a linear way. Never have. I think laterally: One idea will lead me to another that might be a continent or a century away from the idea I’m supposed to be discussing. I found that of immense help as a teacher, because I’d take the kids along with me in the comparison of one historical event to another, seemingly disparate, event. It worked, judging from the way their eyes would light up, because they understood metaphors and, even more, they loved understanding.

One of the historical events we studied was the impact of Freudian psychology on popular culture, and it just so happens that the stream of consciousness was part of one lesson plan. Here is a passage my kids read, from the opening to Joyce’s Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man:

Once upon a time and a very good time it was there was a moocow coming down along the road and this moocow that was coming down along the road met a nicens little boy named baby tuckoo

And here is an excerpt from an essay on Muhammad Ali that shows me doing the exact same thing. as if I were a member of the Junior Joyce Fan Club.

*  *  *

At a press conference at the Waldorf-Astoria before leaving for the 1974 Zaire fight against George Foreman, the “Rumble in the Jungle,”, Muhammad talked about his training:

I’ve wrestled with alligators,
I’ve tussled with a whale.
I done handcuffed lightning
And throw thunder in jail.
You know I’m bad.
just last week, I murdered a rock,
Injured a stone, Hospitalized a brick.
I’m so mean, I make medicine sick.

 

* * *

The novelist Norman Mailer, going into that fight, said that Muhammad was afraid. Foreman had destroyed Frazier, destroyed Ken Norton—two fighters who had beaten Ali–in two bouts that had lasted two rounds each. Mailer implied that the volume of Muhammad’s poetry was in direct proportion to the intensity of his fear.

But Ali had watched films of the fights, and when Foreman had knocked those men down, he’d meekly and quickly retired to his corner, breathing heavily. He didn’t have the stamina it would take to escape the trap Ali was laying for him—a fight intended to be a marathon. As Foreman pounded a crumpled Ali, gloves up, forearms locked at the elbows, in merciless showers of blows that would have hospitalized most men, Ali whispered to him, from the ropes, after one particularly jarring punch, “That the best you got, George?”

In the end, Mailer probably was right. Ali, the victor, was afraid of George Foreman. That is why he was so remarkable. George Foreman grew to love Muhammad Ali. That is why he is the greatest.

* * *

My late brother-in-law, Tim O’Hara, then living in Los Osos, took my nephew Ryan, then a little boy, to meet Ali at a Los Angeles-area sports-card show and signing. Ali signed a pair of boxing gloves, and took a moment to look at Ryan and remark on something I’m not sure Ryan had ever much liked. “I love your curly hair,” the Champ said softly.

* * *

In Famine Ireland, an English clergyman and his companion climbed into their carriage to leave a stricken town. A thirteen-year-old girl, expressionless, her clothing in tatters and so exposing ribs like an accordion’s bellows, her clavicle and shoulder joint with their contours visible just below her skin, began to run after the carriage. When the horses picked up speed, so did she. The clergyman, distressed, kept looking out the window and the girl and her long, bony legs were keeping pace with them. She did so for two miles. The clergyman could finally take no more, ordered the driver to stop, and gave the girl money. She took the money, expressionless and silent, and turned her back on them to walk home.

In the film When We Were Kings, African children, in the same way, ran after Ali’s car. They weren’t expressionless. Their faces were radiant with joy. They weren’t silent. They sang for Ali when his car stopped for them, a call-and-response song so beautiful that it makes you shiver to hear it. What the clergyman gave the little girl would have kept her alive, but only for a short time. What Ali gave these children would feed them all their lives.

 *  *  *

So there is nothing in my writing that couldn’t be better with a good editor, or with ruthless pruning. But for those who use literary terms loosely or whose thinking is safely bound by convention and by academic conformity, my writing lacks the certainty and comfort of boredom. For that I’m not too sorry.

 

Sheila Varian’s “Perfect Horse”

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Ronteza and Sheila during their near-fall

The Polish-born Arabian stallion’s name was Witez II—“Chieftain” or “Hero” in translation, and he was at sea, bound for a new home in post-World War II America. But as his ship entered the Bay of Biscay, it was hit by an intense storm that produced monstrous waves. Its cargo—Witez and 150 other prized European horses—began to make noise below decks: the terrified animals screamed, kicked at the bulkheads and began struggling among each other, and wounding each other, in confusion and panic.

A U.S. Army officer, Capt. William Quinlan, was in charge of the Liberty Ship Austin’s precious cargo. Quinlan and his soldiers worked frantically to separate and calm the horses—Arabians, like Witez, along with Thoroughbreds and Lipizzaner from Vienna’s famed Spanish Riding School.

Quinlan lurched toward Witez and found him quiet and unafraid, focused fiercely on maintaining his balance as the ship straddled another wave. Writer Elizabeth Letts describes the encounter:

Quinlan stroked the horse’s nose for a moment, whispering a quiet word of thanks. Witez, the chieftain, had been bred to maintain his composure in the fury of battle—and here on the Stephen F. Austin, he had won his warrior’s stripes.

Sixteen years later, another horse would demonstrate the same composure and focus that Witez did that day in the Bay of Biscay. She, too, was an Arabian. She, too, was a warrior. The smallish, hard-muscled mare, named Ronteza, was Witez’s daughter. Her home was Corbett Canyon, near Arroyo Grande, and in 1961 she would prove herself to be her father’s daughter in front of 20,000 spectators who watched, momentarily hushed, as the little horse stumbled and fell in competition.

Her rider was Sheila Varian.

* * *

It was, of course, Walter Farley’s classic book The Black Stallion that first made Sheila Varian, along with many generations of little girls, fall in love with horses.

Varian was raised in Halcyon in a family marked by brilliant individuality—two uncles were the founders of one of the first electronics firms in what is now known as Silicon Valley. She learned to ride during gallops one the beach at age eight on Judy, little Ronteza’s opposite. Judy was a sixteen-hand Morgan/Percheron cross, so it was a long way to the ground. Varian wouldn’t be gifted with her first saddle until she was twelve, but she, wearing feathers in her hair, in her imagination a Plains Indian, would gallop for miles on Judy, the horse her father rode hunting deer in the hills above the nearby Arroyo Grande Valley. She was fifteen when her parents bought her first Arabian, a mare named Farlotta. Varian describes the intensity and the symmetry of that relationship:

I don’t know if I’ve ever loved anything as I loved Farlotta. She was frightened, belligerent, thin and wormy when I got her, but nothing mattered except that she was mine. I ate my dinner in her manger. I dreamed in the sun lying stretched out on her back. For a long time she bolted and ran, half a dozen times every ride.

It was a tribute to Varian’s emerging gift in working with horses when she and Farlotta, a few years later, began winning awards up and down the state—including the All-Arabian Show at the Cow Palace, where another Varian mare, Ronteza, would make her debut a few years later, in 1961.

By then, her parents had surrendered to the realization that this particular Varian’s genius lay with horses. As Sheila finished her education at Cal Poly and began working as a P.E. teacher at Arroyo Grande High school, the Varians acquired the twenty-one acres in Corbett Canyon that would be the nucleus of today’s 230-acre Varian Arabians, now home to over 150 horses. Her parents’ support was unswerving: her father, Eric, built fencing did the ranch’s maintenance work; her mother, Wenonah, became a self-taught expert researching the pedigrees of the Arabians that were potential Varian horses.

They decided to buy a “the blocky little mare,” as Varian described her affectionately, with a near-flawless pedigree: Ronteza’s dam was named Ronna; her sire was the stallion who had stood so calmly on the heaving deck of the Stephen F. Austin, Witez II.

* * *

The horse whose life almost ended in the Bay of Biscay in the fall of 1945 was foaled in the spring of 1938. Witez was born at Janow Podlaski, a farm that bred horses for the Polish cavalry. Elizabeth Letts describes a foal whose beauty was recognized almost instantly: he showed from his first wobbly moments a potential for perfect proportions and, fittingly, he was marked by a large white star on his forehead “that looked remarkably like an outline of his native Poland.”

Poland would be swallowed by the first act of World War II the next year. As Witez’s homeland was invaded by Hitler’s Germany and Stalin’s Soviet Union, Witez would almost become a casualty of war.

On September 11, 1939, ten days after the outbreak of war, the staff decided to evacuate the 250 Arabians at Janow Podlaski and drive them east, away from the German blitzkrieg that had been unleased for the first time in history on Poland. Their destination was a refuge in Rumania—500 miles away.

The trip almost claimed Witez. After days of a forced march—mostly at night, to avoid strafing by Luftwaffe fighters and Stuka dive-bombers—the colts began to tire, including Witez and two of his brothers. When the procession blundered into a vast Polish military convoy in the middle of the road east, Witez was among some eighty horses who panicked. He and his brothers disappeared into thick forest.

Their handlers were despondent. They pressed on, but, by September 20, their way blocked by artillery fire and by the news that the Soviets were advancing from the east, they turned back to Janow Podlaski.

Eventually, Witez would return to the farm, as well. Emaciated and exhausted, he was among some thirty of the runaways who’d been found and sheltered by Polish civilians, horse-lovers, as foreigners subdued their country.

For the next six years, Witez’s homeland, and his life, would be dominated by German authorities, including a self-proclaimed Nazi expert on breeding, Gustav Rau, who became the master of Janow Podlaski and who would become determined to produce prize animals—including Arabians and Lipizzaner—that would constitute, in the Nazis’ sinister view of genetics, “the perfect horse,” the kind of animal that could, for example, tirelessly pull an artillery piece for miles on European roads and then rush it into combat. Rau’s breeding program, he believed, grounded in stallions like Witez, would lead the Wehrmacht, the German Army, to ultimate victory.

* * *

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Sheila Varian and Bay-Abi, the foundation stallion she would breed to Ronteza.

Sheila Varian was seeking a victory of a different kind. As Varian Arabians began to grow in Corbett Canyon, the California native was learning californio horsemanship from another woman, a widow, Mary “Sid” Spencer, who bred Morgans and ran Herefords on the ranch she and her late husband had established in Lopez Canyon.

Spencer was an archetype, not just a rancher. She was a widow who ran a ranching operation on her own and so was fiercely independent and fiercely protective of the ranch she’d worked so hard to develop. In the early 1960s, my father and some friends went dove-hunting in Lopez Canyon when they inadvertently crossed onto Sid Spencer’s ranchland. Their first encounter with Sid was at the business end of a 30-30 carbine. “Why don’t we just sit here quietly,” she told the trespassers, “until the sheriff gets here?” All the parties involved thought this was a sound idea.

Spencer was also a masterful teacher, generous with her time and space to those who rode into her life on horseback. As tough as Sid could be on trespassers, she introduced Varian to a gentle kind of horsemanship—the California vaquero tradition—that her student believed could work as well for Arabians as it did for Spencer’s Morgans or the more common California working horse, the Quarter horse.

“Working” at the Spencer ranch was frequently celebratory: Photographer and writer Jeanne Thwaites described a typical calf roundup—an all-female occasion—at Spencer’s 1,900-acre ranch in the 1960s:

While men may make a roundup into a serious and even dreary business, the girls turn it into a riotous picnic. They try their roping techniques without inhibition, race after and throw the calves, and with gleeful gloat that no man is present to witness their shrieks, giggles and other unprofessionalisms. They wail about their bumps and bruises and make a lot of their own lack of brawn, but at the end of the day the job is complete and they are still full of fun.

Varian incorporated the kind of light-hearted approach to training her horses that typified Spencer’s ranch. “All good horses,” Sheila remarked, “like smart children, need good instruction, but they don’t need harsh instruction.” The vaquero way of training a cattle horse fits that philosophy, and Varian adapted it to training Arabians, beginning with them about age three with a bridle and snaffle bit in a process that where the horse would eventually graduate, as a full-fledged cow horse, to a spade bit. It is a training process that emphasizes, in every stage, patience, gentleness, a light hand and the development of intuitive communication between horse and rider. What Varian insisted on doing, in 1961, was proving a point: Her Arabians, with the proper training, could compete with any other breed—most commonly Quarter horses—in cattle work. The venue she chose to prove her point was the Cow Palace in San Francisco, the site of the ultimate in competition for working horses, the Reined Cow Horse Championship. Her mount would the little mare she didn’t think about much–at first— Ronteza—Witez II’s daughter.

* * *

Nearly six years after the opening of the war, Nazi Germany was crumbling, ironically, under the same kind of pressure—pressure from vast armies on both the nation’s western and eastern borders—that had crushed Poland in the fall of 1939. By the spring of 1945, Witez had been moved by the Nazis to Hostau, a farm in the modern Czech Republic.

But as the war turned rapidly against Germany, Witez was once again in danger, as he had been as a colt. The Soviet Army was approaching and destroying everything in its path, including horses, which they either expropriated as draft animals or shot on sight to provide meat for hungry soldiers. Conditions to the west were not necessarily safer: 200 Arabians fled Janow Podlaski and headed west, away from the Soviets. Among them were Stained Glass and Grand Slam, two of Witez’s brothers. The exhausted horses arrived in Dresden on the night of February 13, 1945, just as the Allied command unleashed the notorious fire raid, involving over 700 British and American heavy bombers, on the ancient city.

After a wave of bombers had dropped its incendiary bombs, one of the Polish handlers watched, horrified, as Grand Slam’s tail burst into flames. He held on as best he could to the powerful horse and closed his eyes. When he dared to open them again, the flames that had engulfed Grand Slam’s tail had sputtered out and the bombers were gone. So were over half of the Polish Arabians, incinerated in the fires or asphyxiated by the oxygen-consuming firestorm the incendiaries had been intended to produce. By the time the surviving animals reached their ultimate destination in western Germany, fewer than fifty remained.

But now Witez II’s survival at the Hostau farm in Czechoslovakia was in doubt. In late April 1945, he was among some 1,200 horses, including Arabians, Thoroughbreds and the Lipizzaner brood mares and their foals, the breeding stock for the Spanish Riding School. Ironically, it was the imminent end of the war that now endangered the Hostau horses: the Soviets were closing in.

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Witez II

Meanwhile, just to the west, it was the surrender of a German general to the Americans that would begin the remarkable rescue of the Hostau horses. Sensibly deciding that his chances were better in surrendering to Americans rather than to Soviets, the general began chatting amiably with an American officer, Col. Charles Reed, and the subject turned to horses. The German loved horses. Reed, the prewar commander of the famed 10th Cavalry—the “buffalo soldiers” who, in 1940, were still a mounted regiment—loved them just as much. The German officer made an emphatic plea to Reed: Might not the Americans rescue the animals before the Red Army turned them into “horseburgers?”

When word of the situation at Hostau reached Third Army’s commander, Gen. Patton, he was both sympathetic and peeved. The controversial officer, so frequently disciplined by his commander, Eisenhower, was in no position to authorize what most would see as a fool’s errand. He decided to anyway, but promised to disavow what would be called “Operation Cowboy” if anything went wrong.

“Get them,” her ordered the 2nd Cavalry’s Col Reed. “Make it fast.”

* * *

Sheila Varian’s first Arabian, the two-year-old named Farlotta, had represented a different kind of rescue. Although the pair had triumphed in 1956 at the All-Arabian show at the Cow Palace, the mare died soon after, at seven, the victim of disease and worms that had plagued her early years. Farlotta’s death—the angry and mistrustful horse had become Sheila’s friend—left her despondent. Varian’s depression began to lift only when she noticed that she wasn’t alone in her grief: standing with her head down in one of the ranch’s corrals was her second Arabian mare, Ronteza, who had been the horse closest to Farlotta. Sheila’s therapy, for both horse and rider, biographer Mary Kirkman noted, was to begin working with Witez II’s daughter.

At first, Ronteza was no replacement for Farlotta. The mare, purchased for $750 at a Porterville ranch on the basis of Wenonah Varian’s hours spent poring over pedigrees, was quiet and seemingly passive, especially when compared to the spirited Farlotta—who had even learned to enjoy games of “fetch” with the sticks Varian tossed for her—but gradually, Sheila began to realize the that the quiet little filly “was just a very serious, kind and sweet horse that didn’t beg for treats and didn’t come when called.”

Ronteza would come into her own at Sid Spencer’s ranch, when the mare began to show an instinctive feel for working cattle. Ronteza was cow-smart and she loved working. Varian began entering her, still in her hackamore bit, in competition against other Arabians, and the pair began winning. They then graduated to open shows, working cattle in an arena against competitors that were almost always Quarter horses. Ronteza was an interloper: Arabians, it was believed, were too delicate and fine-boned and lacked the toughness necessary to any cow horse. In the fall of 1961, Ronteza was finally “a finished spade bit reined cow horse,” and Varian decided to disprove the canard about Arabians in the most audacious way possible—at the reined cow horse championship, part of the Grand National Rodeo, at the Cow Palace in San Francisco.

* * *

In the spring of 1945 at the Hostau farm in Czechoslovakia, the men who cared for Witez and the Lipizzaner knew that the war was ending when the local Wehrmacht commander had a mountain of luggage piled into his chauffeur-driven Mercedes and promptly disappeared. He was followed by the teenaged soldiers of the Volkssturm, the youthful militia who were jubilant at being relieved of their ostensible duty, to stand and fight in defense of the horse farm.

When American trucks and armored vehicles began to appear on April 28 —they were the vanguard of the 2nd Cavalry, a component of Gen. George Patton’s Third Army—the stablemasters walked carefully toward the column with a large white sheet as a token of surrender. The Americans, though, had come in peace: Their mission was to secure the horse farm and protect the horses, and the man who had ordered them there was the 2nd Cavalry’s commander, Col. Hank Reed, the one-time horse soldier of the 10th Cavalry. His soldiers understood their mission.

At 71, Louis Holz, in 1945 a 2nd Cavalry lieutenant, remembered his motivation: “We thought we had a chance to save a sliver of culture for the rest of the world. We sensed the end [of the war] was in sight, and we were in a frame of mind to give credence to beauty once again.”

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Operation Cowboy

If Hostau was secured, the beautiful horses there were not yet safe. They would have to be evacuated to German soil now under Third Army’s control; the Czech farm lay within what was to be the postwar Soviet sphere of influence and the presence of American troops would constitute an opening shot in what would become the Cold War. Col. Reed began organizing Operation Cowboy, and the improbable convoy of jeeps, trucks—the latter carried mares about to foal and colts too fragile for a long journey—began to head west, for Germany. The 2nd Cavalry soldiers, after a war spent mounted on trucks and jeeps, not horses, had become actual cavalrymen. They were jubilant. So was the Arabian stallion under their care, Witez II, happy to leave Hostau behind. Elizabeth Letts describes the leave-taking:

Witez set off eagerly, eyes bright, tail aloft. On his back, one of the cavalry riders, a cowboy who hailed from Idaho, looked like he was having the time of his life. Few of the horses stabled at Hostau, horses used for breeding, were trained to be ridden under saddle, but Witez was one. The bay had been given the important job of riding herd on the young stallions, the group that would be the most excitable.

On May 16, four days after leaving Hostau, Witez and his traveling companions were safely inside Germany. But the stallion’s travels had just begun. By then, Third Army’s commander, a veteran polo player and Olympic pentathlete, George Patton, had been graced with a performance by the Spanish Riding School’s stallions, who’d spent the last days of the war in rural Austria. It was the riding school’s master, Alois Podhasky, who asked the mercurial general to officially place both the performing horses and the animals at Hostau under American protection. Podhasky could not have known that Patton had already authorized Operation Cowboy.

The rescue of his breeding stock so pleased Podhasky that he allowed the Americans to claim some of horses for their own. Witez II was among the 150 animals the Army chose, the spoils of war, for shipment to the Quartermaster Remount Depot at the Kellogg Ranch in Pomona. This was the voyage that had nearly claimed Witez and his traveling companions in the vicious storm that overtook the Austin in the Bay of Biscay.

In 1949, when the Army Depot closed, California breeders Earle and Frances Hurlbutt bought him at action for $8,000. When the couple began to show him, he won championship blue ribbons up and down the Pacific Coast. His main business remained at the Hurbutt’s Calabasas ranch, standing at stud and so producing a new generation of Arabians with Polish bloodlines. In 1954, Ronna, a mare bred to Witez, gave birth to the filly who would mature into Sheila Varian’s cow horse

* * *

Ronteza, according to conventional wisdom, had no more business competing at the Cow Palace than the 2nd Cavalry cowboys had riding through Czechoslovakia. By now—the fall of 1961—Varian had graduated from Cal Poly and was teaching P.E. at Arroyo Grande High School. She had the equivalent of two full-time jobs, because she also was working intensively with her mare every day after school, running laps in a nearby hay field to build her endurance. In October, the pair began working with cattle on a ranch near Oakhurst. Late in the month, Varian, her mother and Ronteza arrived in San Francisco for the Grand National Rodeo and the reined-horse competition.

Ronteza and her competitors would be expected to show their skill at riding patterns—in 1961, “anything the judge thought up, and they were given to you just before you entered the arena,” Varian remembered—that demonstrated the rider’s ability to maneuver the horse in turns, spins, figure-eights and sudden stops, where the horse is virtually sitting down in a dramatic cloud of arena dirt. The second part of the competition involved cow work, in chasing, heading and turning a steer.

In the competition’s first round, against thirty horses in the lightweight class, Varian survived a near-sleepless night at her hotel and Ronteza, ready to go—she disliked warmups and practice runs—passed the test: the pair were selected for the next round, against four other lightweight finalists. Varian, by the time that first round was finished, was emotionally and physically spent; she didn’t stay to watch the thirty horses and riders who would compete in the heavyweight division. At the time, she didn’t know that because Ronteza’s number had been called first in the lightweight division’s first round, she had won.

What the pair had done so far was stunning. Ronteza was the only Arabian competing in the championship. Sheila Varian was the only woman. They weren’t done making their point.

In the lightweight finals, Varian and Ronteza rode a new pattern, seemingly without effort. But when it came to cow work, the pair faced imminent disqualification. This is what Varian remembered in their pursuit of their steer:

Ronteza drove grittily and hard, pushing between the fence and the cow. She was galloping all out with her head down, charging for the shoulder of the cow to finish the circle. Suddenly her feet hit the hard-packed dirt from the horses’ buggies [a harness competition had preceded theirs] and in one motion she was falling. I was standing over her, feet on either side, the reins still in my hands. The rules echoed through my mind in slow motion: Go off your horse and you are eliminated.

A dramatic photo captures the moment: Ronteza is nearly flattened on her left side, her head still upright and her neck arched while Varian, upright, is being propelled forward with the reins still in her widely-splayed hands. The photograph suggests exactly what happened next: the position of Ronteza’s head shows that she’s already beginning to stand up; Varian, nearly over her mount’s neck, is refusing to stand down. The pair recovered—by now they had the audience on their side—and the determined little mare showed the same seriousness and focus that her father had shown below decks on the Stephen F. Austin: she circled and turned her cow.

It was now their turn to wait for the other four horses to compete.

The judges called Ronteza’s number first

* * *

That was Friday night. On Sunday afternoon, competing against the finalists in both the lightweight and heavyweight classes, Ronteza and Varian defeated all comers and were national champions. Varian remembered a moment from the Cow Palace competition vividly: at the start of one round, she could feel distinctly Ronteza’s heartbeat through the panels of the saddle. She knew then that her mare was ready. When the signal was given, when horse and rider entered the Cow Palace arena, two hearts beat as one.

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Sheila Varian, 2002. Photo by Lisa Andres

This story appeared in a slightly different version in the essay collection Will This Be on the Test?


https://www.amazon.com/Will-This-Be-Test-Reflections/dp/1795608366


The Horse Story

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Bay-Abi, Sheila Varian’s foundation stallion, was a Ronteza foal.

“When is your next book coming out?”

There’s nothing that can dry you up to turn you into a human prune as fast as that question. It doesn’t help that your writing dries up, too, as it has, for me, for several months. Self-pity is no damned good either, but it’s easy for small-potatoes writers like me: Writers don’t make a lot of money, and when the water heater or the washing machine go out, your royalties go away. Pouting uses up a lot of energy.

And then, since I’ve no talent for fiction, history writing demands that you do the research, the heavy lifting, which takes weeks and then months in places you’re not always welcome and then, when you are allowed in, it means furious note-taking in #2 pencil—the librarian strips you of everything else: no backpack, no pens, no paper, no camera—or delicate care, wearing cloth gloves, to turn the fragile pages of old newspapers or family histories that smell faintly of mildew.

It takes a lot of computer time, too, where increasing amounts of historical research are to be found, and that makes the internet a blessing.  For the Aviators book, it meant everything from B-17 training manuals to MACR (Missing Air Craft Reports) filed online, from tracking down B-24 Liberator serial numbers to identifying tropical diseases suffered by American fliers in the Southwest Pacific, from 1944 fighter group yearbooks to Eighth Air Force Mission reports from Big Week, in 1944, when masses of American bombers were sent up over Berlin.

The objective of Big Week, you find out, wasn’t bombing targets. Those missions were  instead intended to use the bombers as sacrificial bait to draw up German fighters so they could be shot down by American P-38s and P-51s.

The worst part of that job was finding, and reading, the Deceased Personnel Files of local fliers who didn’t survive Big Week, which include details you don’t want to know, including the way their bodies were identified after falling 25,000 feet or the list of personal effects  they left behind in their footlockers in Norfolk or Cambridge.

The German fighter pilots were twenty or twenty-one years old. The average age of a B-17 pilot was twenty-two. Some of their gunners were liars and so were only sixteen or seventeen when they fell 25,000 feet to earth.

So when faced with work like this, I fall back on old tactics, honed in childhood: I hide under the pillows until whatever that scary thing is out there decides to go away.

But hiding didn’t work then and it doesn’t work much better sixty years later, no matter how much and cheerfully I admit to being a coward.

The only thing that works in these cases, with this business of writer’s block, is to guarantee a piece against deadline. Then you either do the work or you implode.

Not being willing to become pruny or to implode, I tried to begin again today. For no earthly reason, except for the inspiration of the lives of two horses and two human beings (the latter two, women, one of them a gifted popular historian), and all four marked by remarkable courage.

I managed 1200 words.

If you can’t write about horses, baseball, battle or falling in love, you need to become an engineer or a police officer, and in so doing you’ll be much more useful to society, and much less neurotic.

Finishing the piece, of course, is another mountain to be climbed. But here’s the beginning. Sheila Varian’s grandparents were from Ireland, so I hope there’s a bit of Irish here. The purpose, though, has less to do with Ireland and more to do with what I want to with my writing: To link the place I love so much—Arroyo Grande—with places and events that seem so distant yet are much closer than any of us, including me, ever realized. Here, it will be a stud farm in Poland and a ranch in Corbett Canyon.

Here’s an excerpt.

 *  *  *

The Polish-born Arabian stallion’s name was Witez—“Chieftain” or “Hero” in translation, and he was at sea, bound for a new home in post-World War II America. But as his ship entered the Bay of Biscay, it was hit by an intense storm that produced monstrous waves. Its cargo—Witez and 150 other prized European horses—began to make noise below decks: the terrified animals screamed, kicked at the bulkheads and began struggling among each other, and wounding each other, in confusion and panic.

A U.S. Army officer, Capt. William Quinlan, was in charge of the Liberty Ship Austin’s precious cargo. Quinlan and his soldiers worked frantically to separate and calm the horses—Arabians, like Witez, Thoroughbreds and Lipizzaner bred for the Spanish Riding School in Vienna.

Quinlan lurched toward Witez and found him quiet and unafraid, focused fiercely on maintaining his balance as the ship straddled another wave. Letts describes the moment:

Quinlan stroked the horse’s nose for a moment, whispering a quiet word of thanks. Witez, the chieftain, had been bred to maintain his composure in the fury of battle—and here on the Stephen F. Austin, he had won his warrior’s stripes.

Sixteen years later, another horse would demonstrate the same composure and focus that Witez did that day in the Bay of Biscay. She, too, was an Arabian. She, too, was a warrior. The smallish, hard-muscled mare, named Ronteza, was Witez’s daughter. Her home was Corbett Canyon, near Arroyo Grande, and in 1961 she would prove herself to be her father’s daughter in front of 20,000 spectators who watched, momentarily hushed, as the little horse stumbled and fell in competition.

Her rider was Sheila Varian.

 

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Ronteza falls at the Cow Palace, San Francisco, 1961.

Billy’s Funeral

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My brother-in-law’s funeral was awkward and wonderful. “Awkward” because Gregorys are both tightly-bond and distant–we don’t get together often– given childhoods marked by confusion, by alcohol and an unerring moral compass, by violence and inspired moments of love, by the imperative of survival and the depth of our pride in our parents, who remain the most singular and brilliant human beings I’ve ever known.

But we come together when we need to. We don’t talk much about what we feel for each other because proximity alone is so powerful. The pride we had in our parents is now manifest in the way we feel about each other: We are alive. We made it.

We didn’t know most of the people at Billy’s ceremony well, but the ones we remembered—sons and grandsons, soft-voiced and boulder-strong, beautiful daughters and granddaughters, blondes—came up to us without hesitating and embraced us.

These were the children my sister, Roberta, helped to raise as if they were her own.

All of them, boys and girls, children and grandchildren, no matter how hard the lives they’ve lived, are marked by a kind of bedrock integrity that Billy left for them, as if it were as genetic as brown eyes.

 

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You can’t help but love them.

The ones we didn’t remember weren’t relatives at all: they were cowboys Billy had hired –as skilled with a welding torch (the water-pipes on the ranch freeze in cold Bakersfield winters) as they are with gentling horses–or homeless veterans he’d taken in and so saved their lives.  There were at least sixty stories like his, one of the veterans told me.

 

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As is always the case, the humans weren’t the only ones present. Several dogs trotted up to the planting with the humans and looked for solace there, too, rubbing up against the friendly guests and nuzzling the ones who needed comfort. A pony whinnied in the distance without Billy there to see if he might be colicky. No fewer than four vintage Ford garden tractors, in various stages of repair or mortality, were a reminder of the briefness of life.

Bill’s girls talked about Dad and Grandpa (he was plain-spoken and cranky, soft-hearted and fiercely protective) the boys talked a little too, some of them in elongated Ozark Plateau vowels that I recognize almost instantly, once the warmth of my heart has relayed the sound to my brain, and then they took up shovels and mixed Billy’s ashes in the roots of a sycamore they were planting in a riverbank along the Kern, which straddles the ranch.

Given the now-giant sycamore planted nearby for Billy’s son, killed years ago in a tule-fog car wreck, this tree will be strong, like that boy was, and it’s on a little rise where Billy can look over the 250 horses he cared for so much.

My big sister put a little packet in the roots and I didn’t for a minute think of asking what that was about. My big sister was always so big to me and in the funeral’s aftermath I realized how small she is (so was my mother, another giant and powerful influence on my life.)

 

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My big sister is in the plaid shirt.

 

What her daughters and granddaughters did for my sister was perfect, too.

Roberta has a little girl, a border collie puppy not yet weaned from her own mother, coming to her late Christmas, and that’s is just what she wanted: Someone to take care of, the way she took care of us when our Mom died, the way she took care of Billy, the way Billy will always take care of her.

Once the boys had the tree seated and upright, secure and settled, they planed a pretty little well around it with the flats of their shovel blades and the soles of their boots. My brother-in-law’s funeral was awkward and wonderful, and in every way it was perfect.

 

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My weakness

 

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A G.I. and a medic from the First Infantry Division treat a dog wounded by shrapnel on D-Day, 1944.

Here is the deal: I understand this photo because it tells me why, other than the accident of birth, I am an American. The compassion of a medic with time enough to treat a dog (he would lose that luxury in the next few weeks, in the hedgerows of Normandy. Believe me.) is so obvious and so sweet that I can feel the moment seventy-five years later. Me feeling moments like this has been a lifelong curse. Sort of.

Even when I was a little boy, you could walk me into an abandoned house, and I could smell the meals that had been cooked there, flinch, even momentarily, at the family arguments that had buried themselves beneath peeling wallpaper and feel inchoate grief at the lives that had ended in bedrooms where the floorboards were now exposed.

When I visited Anne Frank’s home in Amsterdam with my students many years ago, what I could feel there–the palpable and powerful presence of the Frank family and the moment of terror at their betrayal—struck me into a silence that lasted a long time afterward.

I could never, ever understand why so many find history so boring.

Elizabeth and I took our boys, when they were little boys, to Gettysburg and we didn’t need a battlefield guide. I knew exactly where we were and what had happened there–from the bulldog resistance of Buford’s cavalry and their Sharps carbines on July 1 to the 20th Maine’s counterattack on Little Round Top on July 2–one of the most decisive moments in American history–to the marvel of Pickett’s division shaking out its columns into butternut lines of advance—the Union soldiers up on Cemetery Ridge marveled at the precision of their drill— across farm fields on July 3. Somehow, I saw all of these events as they happened and, thank God, was able to remember them for my sons.

I can’t tell you exactly why I feel a hard knot in my stomach when I see a Dorothea Lange photo of a Mexican migrant child in a Nipomo migrant camp. But I feel it just the same. Her knees are slightly knocked: That’s a symptom of rickets, a nutritional disease.

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I feel a flood of adrenaline that speeds my heartbeat when I see this photo, taken inside a USO in 1944, of a G.I. from Brooklyn jitterbugging with a young Japanese-American woman from Spokane. She is lovely. They are happy.

 

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I can understand a narrow walkup in Boyle Heights in Los Angeles and smell fresh-baked tortillas from 1938; understand a row Victorian in North Beach in San Francisco and hear the pop of squid on the fryer and see the richness of red marinara bubbling gently on a burner nearby. That meal was eaten by hungry fishermen in 1916.

 

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I can still see the line of Greyhound buses aligned in a semicircle in the high-school parking lot on Crown Hill on Arroyo Grande and the stacks of heirloom luggage stacked alongside as our Japanese-American neighbors say goodbye, in many cases with tearful hugs, to their neighbors as they prepare to board for the internment camps in April 1942.

 

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Wherever I go, there are field-workers working crops with a short-hoe—now outlawed in California—who have been dead for decades. There are lovely teenaged girls in saddle-shoes and bobby sox cradling their texts in the hallway of a high school that was demolished in 1961. There’s a P.E. coach full of masculine bluster, a trait that will serve him well as a football coach and as a leader of Marines, at least until the bluster bleeds out on the beach at Guam in 1944. There is the lifelong guilt of a mother whose toddler fell into the fireplace in 1904 while she was preparing pie crusts in the kitchen; not even Arroyo Grande’s venerable Doctor Clark could save her little girl. There is the incomparable moment in 1940 when a Swiss-Italian bride and groom turn proudly toward the congregation and walk down the nave of Mission San Luis Obispo with Mike the bell-ringer at work above them.

The problem is—and it’s a blessing, too, I guess—is that I can still hear the discordance of those bells, cast in Mexico in 1769. It’s the job of teachers to bring this sound, these smells, these sights, and these people, to life again. That is how you teach history.

The College Job

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I worked, for many years, while going through Cuesta and then the teaching credential program at Poly, for Russ and Rich Bullock, who owned Laguna Liquors, on the site of today’s Laguna Grill. I liked most of my college jobs: working for the Missouri journalism school in a work-study job, stocking groceries at night (we were “Night Stockers”), except when a fellow worker jacked a load of maple syrup too high and thirty cases came crashing down, working on the “wham-bang machine” at the 3M plant. 3M makes Scotch Tape. We were making guided missile parts.

But I liked Laguna Liquors the best.

My bosses, Russ and Rich were both born in the little red house at the very end of French (now Madonna) Road, and they were two of the best bosses I’ve ever had.

I was reminded of all this because I saw another favorite boss of mine, Randy Bullock, and his wife Barb this weekend.

Back then, in the 1970s, the liquor store was pretty much the only market in the area. We were also the local bank, where folks came in to write twenty-dollar checks, which was an immense amount of money back then.

We were also part-time and totally unqualified psychiatrists: we got to know everyone for blocks around with a drinking problem, a marriage problem, a kid problem, a job problem.

We did a lot of listening, and we were, most of us, anyway, just liquor-store clerks in our twenties.

We also had a lot of fun, which frequently involved post-hours runs down to the Laguna Village Inn or the Oak Room.

We were engulfed by two waves of children in the afternoons: one from C.L. Smith and the second from Laguna Middle School, who swarmed around the candy rack like angry badgers. We even sold Pop Rocks and–I still can’t stand him–Reggie Bars.

This is where, actually, I found out that I liked kids, which is a good thing, because I spent thirty years teaching high school and liked them just as much at the end of my career as I had at the liquor store.

The wave Sunday mornings at 7 a.m. was almost as bad as the candy rush on weekday afternoons. There were always grouchy elderly men, some of them in their carpet slippers, lined up waiting for us to open so they could have their massive Sunday editions of the L.A. Times or the San Francisco Examiner/Chronicle.

But I didn’t like it when you realized an older customer wasn’t coming back. The philosophical Fuller Brush salesman took his own life. The sweetheart lady you were never supposed to sell to died of cirrhosis anyway.

The salesmen and route men were fascinating. Chet the Chip Man was an old Arroyo Grande High Classmate; Bob the Bread Man was the fastest stocker I’d ever seen; Tim from All-American beverage was the courteous, kind man who would someday become my brother-in-law. Brownie the Whiskey Guy once beckoned us into the back room, shushed us as if he were the Manhattan Project, and and poured each of us a blended whiskey that was going to be the next big thing.

It was so interesting, to me, as a young fellow, to be so integrated into the life of a neighborhood. I liked Mr. G.D. Spradlin, the general who orders Martin Sheen into the jungle in “Apocalypse Now.” He smoked Lark 100s.

I liked the elderly British couple who came down from See Canyon and loaded a shopping cart with Swanson’s Frozen Fish and Chips.

I liked the Poly professors mostly but not the arrogant ones. (Why aren’t you at Yale, you jerk?)

I learned that the favored breakfast of house painters is beer and Dolly Madison doughnuts.

I hated Hallowe’en. How do you card someone who looks like Wolfman?

I liked the hippies, gently edging into middle age, who once came to protest Diablo Canyon. One of them said Willie Nelson was coming, but he didn’t show up at the liquor store. We were sad.

I loved–absolutely loved–Willie the Golfer, an immensely charismatic black man who discovered the sport at the little nine-hole Laguna course. Willie had forearms the size of hams, and I wondered when he hit the ball if he didn’t turn it into powder.

I liked Forrest the Southern Pacific guy but never, ever figured out why he bought Burgie beer, which was incredibly cheap and tasted a little like what I thought embalming fluid might taste like (Budweiser was $1.69 a six-pack, by the way).

I used to hide from some customers, like Bob the Sherry Drinker, who did a dead-on imitation of Sgt. Schultz from “Hogan’s Heroes” but then liked to ramble, a lot and pretty loud.

I liked to listen to Russ talk about growing up in San Luis Obispo and delivering Golden State Creamery milk to the Red Light girls. I liked to listen when the old-timers came in to tell old, stories and complain about the guvmint and/or the mule deer who ate their garbanzo beans.

So I did a lot of listening, and I learned empathy, and I learned history, and I became a history teacher which is, after all, about telling the stories you’ve learned and telling them well. Working in that liquor store was one of the most important parts of my education.

Why I like Aldi: It reminded me of Holland

 

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Okay, I went back to Aldi.

I found a shopping cart with the quarter wedged in the slot and used it for my shopping. I just got a few things this time, but Aldi’s starting to grow on me.

A nice lady showed me how to get my quarter back, and this one from an abandoned cart belonging to a complete stranger, so we’re all square, Aldi.

One of the items I bought was a really nice Dutch beer called “Holland 1839,” which was yummy. So was the white Dutch cheese I sprinkled liberally, melted, over the French bread I served with pasta tonight.

My students will recall how much I love Holland, thanks, in no small part, to Jan Vermeer. Here is his famous “Girl in a Pearl Earring on a KLM Flight Reading an Annual Report with Champagne.”

 

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When Ms. Derbidge and I took students to Holland, I fell crazy in love. I stood in front of Rembrandt’s “Night Watch” for about two days.

 

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I said “Hallo” to Rabobank in downtown Amsterdam, which is where ours came from. And I’m not bitter, even though it was my Dad who came up with the name “Mid-State Bank.”

 

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I marveled at the density of the bicycles, was nearly killed by two or more, including mothers on what are called “cargo bikes,” with up to four children bouncing happily in the bucket out front.

 

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“Laten we de toeristen overvallen, kinderen!”
(“Let’s run over the tourists, kids!”)

I whispered to Freddy Rolland, our tour guide: “Is it just me, or are Dutch women really, c288d95425d5b506f9c67305c7218248--bicycle-girl-bike-stylereally pretty?” Freddy laughed knowingly. Be careful. They’re on bicycles and could kill you in a heartbeat.

I loved the richness of Amsterdam’s Jewish heritage, and its heartbreak. Anne Frank’s movie-magazine cutout of the actress Myrna Loy–I loved her in The Thin Man with William Powell–is preserved under Plexiglas in the Upstairs Annex.

I gained a new and much deeper appreciation for Cheese. It is capitalized in Holland. As is the word “Cow.” They are the happiest Cows I have ever seen, and I know Cows, having been on a first-name basis with Daisy, my big brother’s 4-H heifer.

If there’s any city I would go back to in an instant, it’s probably in Italy. Amsterdam is the grand exception. So any grocery store that reminds me of that place is going to get my business.

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The Caravan and Captain Dreyfus

 

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The link above leads to a PowerPoint from an old lesson plan from the AP European History course I taught for nineteen years. The music, by the way, is from Thomas Newman’s incredible score for the film American Beauty.

As if you haven’t noticed, the current state of the nation worries me greatly, and daily, in my sleep and with my first coffee.

I haven’t got a handle on it yet.

Emotions today are as high as they were on the eve of the Civil War, when Rep. Preston Brooks of South Carolina nearly beat the abolitionist Sen. Charles Sumner of Massachusetts  to death on the Senate floor. (Sumner was a bit of a prig, by the way. Spielberg treats him with justifiable unkindness in Lincoln.)

But we aren’t as neatly divided geographically as we were in the Election of 1860. If you look at the electoral map for 2016, we’re two coasts interrupted by a continent, with Oklahoma its epicenter. We’re as isolated as what we used to call “Pakistan” and “East Pakistan” on the maps I studied in high school.

So the division isn’t conveniently geographic, as it was in Lincoln’s time. (Nothing else about Lincoln’s time was “convenient”.)

It’s instead deep inside our national spirit, and deep among ourselves.

The nearest comparison I could come up with, one similarly marked by fear of outsiders, of The Other—and, to be discussed some other time, by a deep fear of change— was not American. It was French.

It came from a conflict deferred from the Revolution, between tradition and modernity, between church and state, between advocates of  Blood and Soil and unaccepted national communities who were, ironically, passionately French.

There was no civil war in France. They’d already had revolutions in 1789. 1830, 1848 and 1870, so they subsumed their passions until 1894, when The Dreyfus Affair set them aflame again.

The Affair revealed a spiritual sickness, like ours, that tore the French nation apart. It tore Renoir and Monet apart. The cartoon about a French family dinner struck me as especially relevant to America today.

What I learned about the destruction of French comity has been made fresh again in my time, in the exploitation of a “caravan” of refugees fleeing from nations in Central America that have become nightmares. These are refugees funded, “many people say,” by nefarious Zionists. Like George Soros.

In reality, they’re fleeing from homes made strange and deadly by gangs, fat ticks engorged by our appetite for drugs, and from death squads directed by Central American officer-graduates from the old School of the Americas at Fort Benning, Georgia.

For my Trump-supporting friends: Do the research.

Somehow, thanks to presidential innuendo and sanctuary walls perforated by .223 rounds, we have woven anti-Semitism into what was already a story tragic enough to fill yards of dusty and unexplored library shelves at Cal or Princeton.

Our story, like the one in Dreyfus’s France, has a similar element: we’re blissfully unaware of history and of our own historical power. We haven’t read the books.

We exert, for example, an immense gravitational pull on Central America. I’m  reminded of Titanic’s screws turning for the first time inside the harbor at Southampton; the powerful current they generated nearly sucked harbor boats to their destruction beneath the great, and doomed, ocean liner.

The Mexican poet Octavio Paz got this idea precisely once:

“Poor Mexico,” he said. “So far from God, so close to the United States.”

So our current fear of refugees and the implicit but insistent rumors about the Jewish plot to fund them reminded me of the old fear of The Other, and of the Dreyfus Affair, which I’ll never understand completely.

The closest anyone can come to understanding the Dreyfus Affair, I think, is to read Barbara Tuchman’s treatment of the case in her masterful book The Proud Tower.

Even after reading Tuchman, my favorite historian, when I taught this lesson about The Affair, I thought it peculiarly and quaintly French.

I stand corrected.